A SERIES OF AWKWARD ENCOUNTERS WITH A GIRL ON THE EDGE OF ORDINARY

This week at work, one of those incredibly awkward blind moments happened to me. I was trying to walk around someone and didn’t see that the person had actually stopped in front of me to smile and wave… He then just assumed that I was rude until others explained that I am blind and could therefore not see his “hello wave”. Anyway, that got me thinking of other blind moments and while some leave me laughing a little at how uncomfortable it was for everyone involved including me, others annoy me to wits end. What follows is the most awkward things about being me.
While there are so many to choose from, my mind keeps circling back to a few particular incidents, that happen over and over again and every time is just as bad as I remembered.
1 No matter where I go, someone always wants to pray for me. I was walking home from campus one night and a girl came running after my boyfriend and I, practically begging us to let her pray for us. After a drawn out argument about this, we finally just said no and as we were walking away, she kept yelling after us: “BUT HE HEALS!”. Unfortunately, this happens everywhere, on trains and buses, in the streets and in shops. These people never ask what I’d like them to pray for, always just assuming that there can’t possibly be anything worse in my life than not being able to see. We won’t even get started on the religious side of all this, because what I believe or don’t believe, is nobody’s business but mine…
News flash friends, blindness is all I’ve ever known. Have you even considered that being able to see all of a sudden after years of not seeing, might not be an adjustment I want to make? Blindness is not fun, I know this, but I do not hate my life, and naïve as this might sound, I think that I am exactly as I should be, because my life has a purpose and I am not afraid of living with a disability… My blindness is not the boogeyman. Apart from the fact that I just don’t want to be prayed for, these people have often endangered my safety as well as theirs… It is not a good idea to grab a person who cant see you by the arm and start manhandling them to get your attention. “I’ll give you a hint, one or both of us might get hurt.
2 My guide dog is exactly that… A guide. You cannot whisper directions to him expecting him to get me there and then walk away absolutely delighted with your ability to solve a problem without having to interact with the crazy blind lady. Luca did not understand you, he didn’t lick your face as a “okay I gotya thanks”, it was probably more a “hello stranger, do you have a treat?” lick and the result of that completely idiotic moment we all shared, is that I will still have no idea where to go, so thank you, I probably ended up being late for something.
3 The good old myths… No, I do not want to touch your face, my hearing is quite average and anything you saw on Daredevil is a lie!!! I do not arrange my money in a special way. The only time I have ever counted my steps was once when someone wanted to pray for me and I couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of them… I got so into the counting that I forgot to check in with my cane, tripped, fell down a curb and swore so badly that who ever wanted to pray for me, left in a hurry, probably deciding that I am a lost cause… He didn’t even help me up before getting out of there. So in a way, I guess it worked.
4 That time I was asked how I dress myself and how I don’t end up looking like a confused chameleon… Oh who am I kidding, that wasn’t just one time. Depending on how much time I have, my answers range from the truth, which is that I know which colors go together and I am practical when I buy clothes, to ridiculous stories of how Luca taps his paw once if I look okay and madly starts chasing his tale when I don’t, I never even bother with the “how I dress myself” part of the question, even a child knows the difference between a shirt and pants and just because people often talk to me like I am 3 years old, does not actually mean that I am a child.
5 When people point at things and I am expected to know what we are talking about or when they hand me a form for my signature only to realize that I can’t see… “full disclosure, sometimes I just sit there, letting that moment of “oh shit what now” envelop us completely, before I inform them that if they place my finger on the line and provide me with a pen, I’d be happy to sign.” You may be wondering, how could I do something like that? Well it is funny and people should learn that it isn’t nice to assume things about others.
Perhaps you are wondering how I always manage to get myself in these situations, the truth is, that it happens more often than you would think. I don’t know a disabled person who doesn’t have similar stories to share and while it is sad and hilarious at the same time, every time it happens, I am reminded that I have a long way to go before I can pack the blind jokes in, because without them to deflect those uncomfortable moments, most strangers are still left flustered in my presence.