US VS THEM: OR IS IT

About a year ago, the #AbledsAreWeird hashtag was all over my Twitter feed like a bad rash. Under the guise of highlighting the way disabled people are treated by non-disabled people, derogatory comments and insults traveled from screen to screen like a wild fire. Driven by each successive tale of how disabled people have suffered at the ignorance of the so-called #ableds, the remarks just seemed to get more offensive with each new post.
Pointing out that despicable things happen to us is one thing, but speaking out against bullying and discrimination just to turn around and become the perpetrators ourselves… It felt like every bit of ground we gained over the last 30 years was lost. If nothing else, we definitely lost our claim to the moral high ground.
Now if a person without a disability posted something like:
The blind girl on the train just grabbed my glasses off my face looking for a seat #DisabledsAreWeird;
The blind chick just fell down some steps, must be drunk #DisabledsAreWeird;
Just got groped by a freak in glasses #DisabledsAreWeird; or
That blind lady totally just stalked a mannequin #DisabledsAreWeird.
I would have taken to social media with a rant to rival all tantrums, even though it’s true and I have been that person in each scenario. It wouldn’t have bothered me that someone noticed my public humiliation, I wouldn’t even have cared that I made people laugh. What would have made me angry was that someone dared mistake my blindness for being weird and then labeled me as if no other explanation of my behavior made sense.
Completely disillusioned by the popularity of the hashtag amongst the disabled community, I began looking for proof that I wasn’t the only one thinking that we may have gone too far. I was hopeful that sanity will prevail, Afterall, a relentless ability to harbor resentment has never been anyone’s recipe for success. At the very least, I was hoping that more than any other group of people, the disabled community would understand that labeling people has never facilitated change for the better.
Instead of finding bright eyes and bushy tails however, I keep finding angry people. Instead of the “triumph in the face of adversity” vibe, the predominant theme seems to be that it’s “us versus them”. I do not deny that life for disabled people is not a walk in the park. Our paths are littered with obstacles and more often than what I’d like, we do get treated badly. We do not experience many occasions of smooth sailing, but when has anyone made us that promise or entitled us to easy.
It is not anyone’s fault that they are not disabled, but we are. They do not owe us their time or their money and trashing them with our bitterness, sarcasm or beating them up with the chips on our shoulders will not erase the effect of our disabilities on our lives or theirs.
People who are not disabled, owe us their empathy and their understanding, but how are they to understand us if instead of educating, we ridicule.
The stark reality is that it is our lives and it is up to us to get the most out of it. If we want better, we have to teach better and we do not get to be tired, we do not get to give up. This is not a war. The person who trained that guide dog that changed a life; the one who helped a disabled person cross a street; the person who took a chance employing a disabled person; or the one who reached out in whichever way; These are the people who get lumped in to the #AbledsAreWeird category, when all they’ve ever done was earn our respect. We are not fortunate enough to live in a world free of stigmatism and stereotypes, but disabled people are some of the most resourceful and resilient people I have ever known and I refuse to believe that we cannot find a way to educate others without losing ourselves in the process.